Adverts 3.0

It's that time again where I rip the crap out of current adverts for them being severely irritating, stupidly unrealistic or just because I enjoy ripping the crap out of stuff. So, enjoy.

Barclaycard Bespoke Offers

I'm not even going to comment on the concept of Gok Wan coming to the rescue when you take your middle class children to a fancy coffee shop and they throw that lovely treat back in your face by chucking coffee over you. Okay, I am. Basically, if I ever spilt crap on my mum - in public or not, I'd get yelled at. She would not sit in silence and wait for Gok Wan to magically enter with his parade of coats. I'd get told "the whole day is RUINED." Or words to that affect. And why were those kids here not told off for being annoying little shits? Today they're knocking coffee everywhere, tomorrow they're in prison. That's how it starts.

Harvester



This advert is first of all annoying the crap out of me because I couldn't use the YouTube app to add it to this blog, I had to embed. And it looks awful. But this advert just makes me glad I don't have children - specifically annoying, cocky ones. And I can't help but feel sorry for those poor bastards working in the Harvester kitchen being given orders by a child. Look at the bloke at 0:02, his face says it all. Then the girl at 0:14 "thank you Chef" - don't thank him, he's a CHILD. His opinion means nothing. "And Mum wants peri-peri with the spit roast chicken" - well, I'm sure his mum would like a spit roast, but you can't really get that at the Harvester. I don't know, I've never asked. Then the worst part which makes me want to punch the little shit right in the kisser "DAD SAUCE." How about no?! If I sat at the table and went "MUM, KETCHUP NOW." I'd get "Don't. Speak. To. Me. Like. That." And I'd be that kid that gets shouted at in front of everyone at the restaurant. And I'm saying that from experience.

Protect Your Bubble

"Why didn't I just insure it?" That's a good question, Jason. Although, I think you should be less concerned about the fact you just fucked your iPhone up and be more concerned about the fact you're talking to two cartoons. Yes, next time insure your phone, but also seek professional help. 

Haribo - "They're Just Too Good"

I think from these specific blog entries, it's clear I don't like role reversal adverts where children are grown ups. And this is yet another one. I'm sorry, but this 'study' does NOT prove that Haribo is "just too good" - it proves that children have no sense of logic or reasoning to understand that if they resist one thing, they can have two of them. And no, this is not me killing the joy of this adorably cute "aww look at the kiddies wanting all the sweeties!" advert - it's a scientific fact that has been illustrated in countless developmental psychology studies. If this advert was made with 8 year olds instead of toddlers, then they would resist the Haribo because they understand that if two over time is better than one thing immediately. Ha. Psychology'd. Also, as someone who works in an opticians, those glasses do not fit that child properly.