Tuesday 8 November 2011

Why everything annoys me

In my opinion, there's 2 kinds of people in the world:
1. The kind of people who are generally happy most of the time, with the occasional day where they're a bit down, but nothing that a cup of tea and some Big Bang Theory (or whatever American sitcom takes your fancy) can't cure.
2. The kind of people who are annoyed by everything and everyone and call inanimate objects 'wankers' when they drop them on the floor, and who have an occasional happy day, which doesn't last long.

In case you haven't realised, I fall into the second category.

Recently I've noticed a pattern emerging in my hatred for everything. Usually it peaks at the start of the week, and by the weekend I've slowly gone back down to being a normal human being that isn't easily wound up. Sometimes. This week's been a particularly hatey one though. And yes, I know it's only Tuesday. I think the main reason for it revolves around a certain lesson I have once a week, every Monday for 2 hours. That lesson is statistics.

Statistics is the one thing (okay, maybe not the one thing but very high on my list along with parking, buses and just genuinely having no time) I hate about my course. Unfortunately - and God knows why - it's an important part of any psychology degree. Don't get me wrong, a correlation and some descriptives showing the mean and all that, fine, that's understandable, but when you go into all the shit we've been going into lately, you just stop and think "fuck off. I really don't care anymore." To be honest, somewhere there probably is a logical reason that explains fully why they make it so complicated, but I've been doing stats for over a year now, and I do not see that reason one little bit, other than to fuck with my head.

It's actually now come to the point where I have been considering withdrawing from my course completely just so I don't have to deal with it. I know the common sense thing to do would be to tell someone and ask for help, but in all honesty, I know it won't do any good. Why? Because statistics is boring. It's one of the most boring things on earth, and not only do I not have the motivation to go to a help session or see a tutor about it, I also know for a fact, I wouldn't pay attention to it, because it's so incredibly dull.

I am aware that if I quit uni just because of some numbers (and that's really all they are at the end of the day) I will be taking a massive step towards a huge debt, a permanent career in Poundland and loss of respect from several people, so it's probably not the wisest thing to do, I really do see that. I'll probably just end up winging it like last year. At least there's no exam this year.

So having established why my mood fluctuates at the beginning of every week, it's clear that anyone who knows me would do their best not to annoy me. However, for strangers, this is not the case. And I am talking about those who share my bus journeys with me.

Before people jump down my throat about me being anti-social, let me just point this out - yes, I am aware that these people are complete strangers and don't know what kind of day I'm having, or the fact that I don't like people and wish to be left alone on the bus etc etc etc, but it's downright annoying, and I'm sure there's lots of people who will back that up.

Anyway, there were 2 incidents this week that spurred to mind, one of which will probably make me sound like a horrible, anti-social, ignorant bitch (yes, I know this blog in general makes me come off that way), it certainly made me feel like one. The other, just a minor annoyance that I'm sure would have pissed anyone off.

Okay so the first happened on Monday. Mondays I now like to call "Statistics-misery-wanting-to-cry-the-moment-you-step-off-the-bus-Mondays." Basically, I came out of stats in that usual mood, pushed my way to the front of the bus que (hardly a que, more like a crowd) and managed to get a seat pretty much straight away. I sat in one of the priority seats because I wanted to be close to the door, as I could see the bus would be full, and when it's full it gets very claustrophobic which makes me feel a bit panicky, and I always feel better if I'm near the door.

Anyway, people got on the bus, as they do and it drove off, after a couple of minutes, several people at the front were tossing me dirty looks. I thought nothing of it, as I'm not a smiley person and I sometimes give off dirty looks without realising, I thought they were just reciperocating them. Anyway, I carried on with my daydreaming and such, then this stuck up girl suddenly looks directly at me and says "it's disgusting the way society is these days." I wondered what the hell was going on, but still, I took no notice.

When I finally reached my stop I noticed why I'd seemed to be the most hated person on the bus. The stuck up girl's friend was pregnant and I hadn't given up my seat. To be fair, no one else in the priority seats had, but for some reason all the anger seemed to be directed at me, as if I was sat in the 'pregnancy seat.'

First of all, let me just say that I honestly did not notice this girl was pregnant until I got up to get off the bus. Had I noticed she was pregnant sooner, I would have given her my seat. If she had asked, I would have given her my seat. Had her bitchy friend asked, I would have given up my seat. But no one asked and I was oblivious the the fact she had a bump, so I stayed put.

What upset me though was that the pregnant girl's friend was the one bad mouthing me - it'd be understandable if it was the other way around, but it wasn't. The pregnant girl was actually quite friendly, chatting to the bus driver and what not, but her friend just seemed so bitchy. To be fair, yes, she was probably just a good person standing up for her friend, but surely the decent thing to do would have been to come up to me and politely say "excuse me, do you mind giving up your seat for my friend as she's pregnant and wants to sit down?" but no, instead she gave a bitchy comment to a bus full of strangers.

At first I felt like a really horrible person, but then I realised, at the end of the day, if this girl wanted to sit down that badly, she could have asked. After all, if you don't ask, you don't get. I wasn't the only one on the bus in a priority seat, and the fact I didn't know she was pregnant was an honest mistake. For most of the journey she had her back to me while she was talking to the bus driver anyway so I couldn't see the bump anyway. I probably shouldn't have been in the priority seat, but someone would have sat in it anyway if I didn't. And in my defence, I'd had a shitty day, I just wanted to get on the bus and go home as quickly as possible, and for that reason, I didn't think it was compulsory to be checking every single passenger for a baby bump or a walking aid.

I do realise I sound like a horrible person saying that, but let me reassure you, if you're ever pregnant and unlucky enough to share a bus with me, I will give up my seat for you. And if I don't, I probably haven't noticed, so just ask.

Wow, what normally would have took me about 20 minutes or so took me about an hour to write. That's what chatting on Facebook does.

Moving on, the general bus annoyance today was this. I sat at the front of the bus (priority seat again, but only about 8 people got on today) and when the bus stopped at Asda, a couple got on laden with carrier bags. The bloke sits in the seat opposite me, while the girl sits next to me and then they both dumped their bags around my feet.

Again, I was annoyed because I wanted to be left alone. But also because it would making getting off, a reasonably easy task, quite a difficult one, as I would have to clamber all over their shopping. There's also a designated area on the bus for people to put luggage and shopping etc, which they could have used as opposed to scattering it all over my feet. Not to mention the fact there were 2 seats on the other side of the bus they could have had, which would have allowed them to be all lovey with each other without me feeling like I was caught in their romantic fuck pie.

I find it hard to believe I started this blog post at around 5.30. It's now 9.07pm. In that time however I have been chatting on Facebook about various things such as the dire state of the NHS, uni, kids, jobs and the situation with the pregnant girl on the bus. I've also had my dinner, watched the latest How I Met Your Mother and an episode of The IT Crowd and done the washing up, which can I just add, was like a distressing game of Jenga.

That's it from me you'll be pleased to know. Sorry this blog didn't have more of an interesting subject. More from me next time.